The emails labelled "You know you are from Christchurch when:" keep coming in. The list is still growing. Some might not be clear to people outside Christchurch.
Luckily we did had power and water the same night, so no real toilet problems here, except we have been asked to limit sewerage.
A good laughing therapy, have fun!
You know you are from Christchurch when x85
… you can see irony in claims about houses made of x93permanent materialsx94
… your 4 year old says "that was another cornflake"
… you know you havenx92t taken any drugs – but life is sooooo distorted you might as well have!!!
… you can pick Richter scale numbers more easily than Lotto numbers.
… Rangiora is the new Fendalton.
… you have written a list of at least 40 songs that should never be played on radio during earthquakes. Such as "We built this city on rock and roll". "I feel the earth move under my feet…"
… when spring cleaning actually means cleaning the spring that has appeared in your yard!!
x85 you call her your "Mother Nature Inlaw" coz she causes you stress and shakes things up
x85 you've nicknamed the 6.3 "Munter"
x85 Geonet is your homepage
x85 Even your clothes have been stickered
x85 looking over the fence, you discover that the grass isn't always greener on the other side
x85 you work at a bottle store and have a new shelf system; the most expensive bottles are now on the bottom shelf rather than the top
x85 you have no idea what the value of your house is!
x85 making mosaics is the HOT new hobby
x85 when Civil Defence is text spamming you
x85 your filing system reverts to the 'volcano principle' – a huge pile over the floor, with the most important papers rising to the top
x85 a doctor recommends having a few stiff drinks before bed to help you sleep
x85 they close all the welfare centres except the one closest to the epicentre of the after shocks
x85 when you fly out of Christchurch you see a psychologist, when you fly in you see a psychiatrist
x85 you can spot the recent arrivals by seeing who stops what they're doing during aftershocks
x85 rather than use the word x93Godx94 you replace it with x93Bobx94. In Bob we trust.
… your partner squeals and squirms in ecstasy again, even more energetically than yesterday. Then you realise its only because the hot water cylinder in now full and hot for the first time in 12 days.
x85 when fast food is anything that takes less than 2 days to purchase prepare and gather at the table long enough to eat it
x85 when a Portaloo in the street as your main loo is aspirational
x85 it has become the home school capital of the world
x85 the answer to where anything is … itx92s on the floor
x85 our 3 year old can say "liquefaction" clear as a bell but couldn't tell you their own address!!!
x85 all the family are looking forward to going into Rangiora for a big day out!
x85 when you currently live in London (hence x93muntedx94 doesn't enter conversation much) and both your parents have said it at least once to you on the phone (having never heard them use the term before EVER)
x85 your friends and family want you to move back to Invercargill….and it sounds like a good idea!!!
x85 half the population of children in your city come from 'broken homes'
x85 the roads home are bumpier than a 13 year olds face
x85 instead of rushing to the clothes line to get clothes in when it rains, you put dirty washing on the line in the hope that it will rain enough to clean them
x85 Countdown Hornby, becomes your 'local' supermarket
x85 you build your wooden balancing elephants into a DIY seismometer and cheer when it comes down
x85 Metservice includes a graph for dust
x85 a group of students turn up at your place and leave it in a better condition than when they arrived
x85 x93nothing majorx94 is how you describe losing your chimneys, half your foundation cracking, your tv smashing, most of the contents of you cupboard ending in small pieces on your floor, your white ware relocating itself and making odd noises they never used to and no longer being able to open or shut any door in your house, in fact not even being sure if your house is still liveable x85 you know, x93we got off lightly, nothing majorx94!
x85 thoughtful dinner guests bring a bottle of water instead of a bottle of wine
x85 you find you start 'talking back' to the earthquakes (in a rather impolite manner)
x85 you've mastered the wide legged brace and surf position with out ever having had surfing lessons
x85 a bucket with a lid is a new 'must have' item
x85 the aftershocks have aftershocks
x85 you have tied the pantry, liquor cabinet and all the cupboard doors closed and its not to keep kids out
x85 you feel guilty because you have power and water
x85 you're so happy to get mail, it doesn't matter it's all bills!
x85 "Christchurch rocks" is a pun
x85 you go shopping and your trolley fills itself
x85 you realise this is the first time you've seen inside that church and you're actually driving past it at the time
x85 you think "It's the weekend, I must get my water boiled for the week"
x85 when a digger arrives you hear cheers of madness like the crusaders are scoring a try
x85 Santa has to choose an alternative parcel delivery entrance
x85 you visit places like Tripoli and admire what they have done to the place!
x85 you tell the kids off for flushing the toilet
x85 Hubby can finally say to all and sundry "see told you it would come in handy one day!"
x85 you don't get out of bed for anything less than a 5
x85 when Mellow Yellow doesn't make you think of an old Donavon song
x85 please donx92t remain seated x96 your instructions are under your table mat and helmet under your seat ( new restaurant regulations)
x85 you're actually JEALOUS when your friends go to work
x85 discussing toilet habits with total strangers is an everyday norm
x85 the census forms arrive but you have no address to put on it
x85 rather than moving house, the house moves you
x85 your teenagers are only too happy to sleep in the same room as their parents
x85 when going for a chocolate mission actually is a mission
x85 the top party game is guess the magnitude of the last aftershock
x85 you're in the pub for a 4.8 and everyone's main concern in holding on to their drinks!
x85 you take a plastic bag with you when you go for a walk, even though you don't have a dog
x85 the new fashion accessory is a spade
x85 you watch MacGyver re-run's on a mate's tv to get some useful ideas on to get your stuff to work
x85 you don't think twice when friends come round and ask x93Is it ok to go toilet anywhere or do you have special place to do it?x94
x85 you know how to spell "liquefaction" and "seismic"
x85 the little pre school boys don't get excited when they see (another) digger or a dozer
x85 you find the price of wine has gone down but the price wine glasses has gone up!
x85 you have a full length mirror in the garage so you can see if your gumboots match your outfit
x85 your small children build, to quote them, "munted buildings from the earthquakes" with their lego/megablocks/building blocks
x85 using a Portaloo is one of lifex92s luxuries!
x85 you never fill your hot drinks more than three-quarters full
x85 you think electronics that have "shock proof" should say to which earthquake magnitude
x85 you start considering aftershocks as exercise – anything that raises your heart rate that much must be good for you right?
x85 you suddenly realise what would be the perfect modern "urban camouflage" look for Doctor Who's Tardis: a blue Portaloo
x85 you've learned the difference between at least six incompatible types of propane/butane cylinder and where you can't use each one – and it's only 11am
x85 you would prefer to sit under the table instead of at it
x85 you think the earthquake house in Te Papa sucks
x85 x93muntedx94 and x93buggeredx94 are official technical terms
x85 your 3 year old's latest new words are liquefaction and miracle
… you recognise food immediately because it's all on toast
… the news has become your favourite tv viewing
… you sleep in one suburb, shower in another, collect water from another, go to the toilet where you can, and still smile and greet people like you are one big family
… you know what that extra gear leave in your 4 x 4 is for
… you donx92t blame your local council for bad roads, paths or drainage
… you know and actually understand the terms and conditions of your House and Contents insurance policy
… having a third person under a door frame is no longer an invasion of personal space
… you carry toilet paper and handwash in your car, your handbag, your backpack, or anywhere else you can, and you donx92t care who sees it
… youx92d rather live in a house made of straw than a house made of bricks
… you stopped joking about turning your undies and socks inside out to get another days wear
… you now understand the hippy lifestyle and all its quirks
… cross dressing is now accepted city wide
… you stop using the term x93built like a brick sh*t housex94
… its normal to greet people with x93do you need a shower?x94
… everybody starts to look like that dirty dodgy person that wanders around your neighbourhood
… your en suite has a vege garden, dog kennel and grass
… a self cleaning toilet is a bucket upside down on your garden sprinkler
… choosing your next stable career option, you consider Portaloo technician
… you DONx92T call the police when there is a massive group of students in the middle of your street
… When a game of Jenga lasts only 3 minutes
…Dressing up to "Head into town" is putting on a hi-viz, hard hat and boots